Smoke Free Zone
- Matt M.
- Apr 10
- 5 min read
Updated: Jun 5
Yesterday evening, 04/09/2025, I had a strong urge to smoke again. As the evening progressed, this urge became stronger and I ultimately submitted to it. After having my "smoke break", I came home and went to bed. However, I was not in a restful state. My body was not happy with me. I became stressed. My body temperature slightly went up. After a few moments, and a few deep breaths, I calmed down and went to sleep.
On this night, I had some very vivid dreams. The dreams were graphically unpleasant. I remember after the second dream, which included zombie like beings purging their viral infection out onto a floor, I had to exit the dream and wake myself up. It was too graphic, too real and very disturbing. I came to understand that this series of dreams were a result of the "smoke break" I decided to take part in a few hours prior to falling asleep.
The dreams I experienced last night included a couple of themes. First, guilt and shame. The second, the desperation of being in this physically unhealthy state. Admittedly, this isn't the first time my body and Higher Self have sent me these messages in my dreams. It is one of the first times that I surrendered to these messages more completely.
When I woke up, I felt energetically hungover. I felt the temptation to get my phone and bring it into bed with me to watch internet videos, something I almost never do anymore. I also noticed that my thoughts were not reflective of my true nature. I realized pretty quickly that when I smoke, I lower my energetic frequency. When my frequency is low, I am more willing to find myself behind a screen, watch videos that have no actual use in my life or drift towards unhealthy comfort foods. I also find that my thoughts and overall being-ness feel heavier. This heaviness includes being in a state of fear and/or survival. By putting myself behind a phone screen to watch videos, I can distract myself from dealing with what is harming me. However, this isn't my first energetic rodeo so I knew screen time was not the answer.
Instead of meditating, I decided to get up right away and take Joy to the park. Once there, I could feel the fog my mind and heart were in. This didn't feel good. I then began to reflect on my recent history with smoking. Specifically, I started smoking again this time last year. It was a disappointing time for me. My state of self-worth was low so I fell back into smoking.
This present month, April 2025, I am feeling somewhat similar. My continued challenge with finding a job is familiar territory for my Ego. With that, smoking is what I do to "alleviate" and "comfort" my lack of self-worth. However, this is a story I convince myself of when we all know that smoking is never good for you. OK, I was happy about what I was reflecting on even if it doesn't feel good to admit it. I've been here before and I can rise from this again.
As Joy and I were walking around the park, I then started to think about my heart and lungs. We all have them but not all of us understand that every aspect of our body, including our organs, hold their own electromagnetic frequency. That our external (i.e. skin, hair, etc.) and internal body (muscles, nervous system, organs, etc.) represent different aspects of our spiritual as well as emotional being. So I thought on this a bit more. I then honed in on my heart and lungs as they are most impacted by smoking of any kind, including vaping.
I thought, "When I smoke, I am swarmed by graphically unpleasant dreams while I sleep. Why is that?". As I thought on this more, I went back to the reality of frequency. I then thought, "If my heart and lungs are at a high frequency and I take part in an activity, in this case smoking, that is harmful to these organs, then I am lowering the frequency of these organs which is why I feel so hung over right now.". My assessment may seem obvious at a physical level but what I am including in my thought is the reality of the spiritual and energetic aspects of our physical body.
I remember hearing in the past that issues with our lungs could represent a challenge with emotional grief or sadness in one's life. I found an article from Pedro Teixeira of AskTheSoul.com that was aligned to what I was remembering. It's a comprehensive article and I recommend it if that's aligned with an experience you're currently facing. Please note that I am not a doctor and this article does not provide medical advice. You should always consult your doctor before moving forward with any solutions to your physical well-being. Alright! Now that the legal stuff is out of that way, back to my thoughts.
This time last year and my present moment I have encountered sadness. However, I don't believe my challenge with smoking is simply limited to the last 12 months. I believe my heart and lungs have stored a great deal of emotional grief and sadness that is now processing out of my being. Part of my willingness to smoke last night was due to my Ego not wanting to deal with the pain I am now purging. I don't blame my Ego for that but I can't take part of a practice that harms me any longer. It's time for the both of us to move on and be healthy. We deserve it.
After I got home from the park with Joy, I decided to complete two tasks to get my frequency back up. First, I chose to do a chi building exercise known as Horse Stance. The overall practice was about a hour and a half. Second, journal my experience. This may have been a difficult experience but holding in my mind and heart in an isolated fashion will not bring progress, it will keep me stuck and increase my likelihood of smoking again. I don't want that.
So I tripped up....but I got back up as well. My heart and lungs have been through a lot. They have taken on a lot of grief, sadness and stress which lead me to causing harm to them by smoking so I could suppress the pain. All I ended up doing was cause more harm to my body. Tonight I will seek to meditate or read a book to replace the urge of smoking with a practice that is healthy for my mind, body and heart.
Thank you for reading and please enjoy your present moment!
Matt
PS: Caffeine is also a source that is not good for you heart and lungs in excess. Something I am also working on to release from my life.
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