Surrendering Control & Embracing Source
- Matt M.
- Jul 12
- 4 min read
Wednesday's have become my day to record a podcast episode for Planet Phoenix. I then take the remainder of the day to edit the episode so that it's ready to be published by Friday. However, this Wednesday I had to work so I decided to record the episode on Thursday because I had off.
On Thursday morning, I meditated and set up my work station to record. I had the topics I wanted to discuss so I believed I was ready to record. Unknowingly at that time, I really convinced myself that I was ready to record.
As I started to record the episode, I found myself stopping the take and starting over multiple times. This "start and stop" process began to frustrate me. Instead of understanding my frustration or seeing that the Universe placed this "start and stop" process on my path, I chose to press on.
Eventually I was able to record a solid take for the episode. I was excited but at the same time I wasn't really happy with what I created. Again, I chose to ignore what my heart was telling me. I continued to press on and moved into editing the episode. Well, the Universe decided to put another challenge on my path. The software I recently purchased to edit these episodes was not working. My frustration rose and I responded by trying another perceived solution.
I downloaded, installed and started to utilize another editing software all together. From this point on I found myself editing, re-editing and using both platforms to obtain the desire result that I was trying to forcefully obtain.
In parallel to this frantic edit session, I was bouncing around from task to task in my daily life. I kept finding myself not having the time to be completely focused on this edit. This was another moment I recognized from the Universe but chose to ignore.
At the end of the day on Thursday, I decided to abandon the project for the day. I ended up deleting most of the assets I created out of frustration. The next morning, I went about my daily tasks and decided to try re-record the episode. I was met with the same "start and stop" process I faced the day before. Although my intention was good, it was not what I was supposed to be doing in that moment.
Later in the day I felt much better after a contact group session. Stubbornly I decided to go back to the episode I recorded on Thursday, I found I didn't delete everything ;). I spent the evening on the video and I also spent the evening not happy with what I was producing. Also, my computer was technically exhausted from all the work I was doing.
Saturday I woke up at 6:11am. I fed Joy and then decided to head into my morning meditation. During this meditation I found myself connecting to peace...much needed peace coming out of the last couple of days. After the meditation I pulled two cards to better understand the feelings and guidance that I received during meditation.
The first card was from the Galactic Heritage Deck: 70 | Complete Surrender - Lyra - Future. As soon as I read "Complete Surrender" I realized what I wasn't doing. The card was perfect. Here's a part of the card that really resonated with me:
"This is an extremely important card for Earth at this time, because most humans as individuals and the species as a whole are addicted to the need to control and don't realize that this only creates suffering. If this came up in your reading, the suggestion is to seriously take a look at your desire to control reality and begin to learn how to let go more."
Well, shoot. This was absolutely spot on. The next card I pulled was from the Osho Zen Tarot deck. The card I pulled is titled "The Source". This card provided me additional wisdom that I needed to hear. It reads:
"While we speak of being "grounded" or "centered" it is this Source we are talking about. When we begin a creative project, it is this Source that we tune into. This card reminds us that there is a vast reservoir of energy available to us. And that we tap into it not by thinking and planning but by getting grounded, centered, and silent enough to be in contact with Source."
Both cards balanced each other so well to communicate the assistance I needed. During the entirety of Thursday and Friday, I was obsessively seeking to control my creative output. The more I tried to force recording and/or editing the podcast episode, the more I became frustrated. I was not seeking my center, taking time to ground myself or finding time to just be silent. I convinced myself that I was.
As the day moved forward, my lack of being grounded in Source amplified the challenges I faced. By receiving both of these cards this morning I've allowed myself to surrender my latest creative effort. I came to understand that the work I've done this week wasn't wasted. My recent challenged creative efforts allowed me to discover and embrace the lessons of surrendering control as well as the importance of connecting to Source authentically.
I accept that I am not supposed to record, edit and publish a podcast episode this week. I am choosing to trust that my guides and the Universe have put this experience on path to teach me more about myself. Who knows...maybe there's another reason I wasn't supposed to publish an episode this week that I just don't understand quite yet. I'll keep you posted :)
Thanks for reading!
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Source(s)
Galactic Heritage Cards: https://www.amazo
2. Osho Zen Tarot Cards: https://www.osho.com/mobile/zen-tarot
