Releasing My Fear of Self-Worth & Self-Acceptance
- Matt M.
- May 14
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 5
Lately I have been feeling and experiencing an energetic shift in my life. As the days progress, I find myself welcoming this positive shift with an open heart. I feel myself not only being aware of our Reflective Universe, but allowing myself the peace that comes with the gift of the lessons I can learn about myself in others.
This new layer of openness in my heart has developed further in the last couple of weeks. During this time, I have not published any new podcast episodes. There are a couple of reasons for that. First, I started a new part-time job so I've allowed myself the space to feel out my schedule in relation to my creative life. Second, I have stepped into a new layer of self-worth and self-acceptance that I am releasing. This release began to manifest as I thought through next steps regarding my podcast.
I love my podcast. I'm proud of what I have accomplished and I am grateful for all of the people, both on and off planet, who have supported me to pursue my creative passions. Presently, I have a metaphorical "itch" regarding the show. This "itch" wants to be soothed but the only way I can do that is by moving outside of my comfort zone...again. As I have come to this realization, I have been resistant to it as well. My Ego, understandably, likes our comfort zone. However, our comfort zone, like anyone's, is not sustainable if I want to continue to grow in life.
Over the last two years I have been working on the illusory belief system centered around my lack of self-worth and self-acceptance. I have taken the steps to identify moments in my past that contributed to this false belief system. I have meditated to know my self-worth as well as my self-acceptance and embrace them. In this present moment, I am not struggling with my lack of self-worth or self-acceptance, I am afraid of them.
When I came to realize that I was afraid of my self-worth and self-acceptance, I was surprised. In parallel to my surprise, I felt myself holding onto the fear but not tightly. Energetically, I felt my grip of fearing my self-worth and self-acceptance loosening. I felt closer to the energy of the fear and understood why it was arising within me...because more of it is ready to be released.
Healing happens in layers, and over years. The deconstruction of a life long belief system doesn't happen overnight. I have found when I am moving deeper into a preexisting belief system, my resistance to healing it increases. In a way, the more fear I feel about a belief system...the closer I am to letting it go. That's exactly where I am at right now.
The deconstruction of fearing my self-worth and self-acceptance really catalyzed with my new part-time job. On my first day I was completely, and uncharacteristically, overwhelmed. At the level of my Ego, I was desperately looking for any reason I could to quit. The internal resistance I was experiencing was intense and I was confused. I came to realize that I was experiencing residual emotional aspects of myself caused by past experiences that directly traumatized my self-worth and self-acceptance.
As I processed these residual emotional aspects of myself, I took the time to remember who I am. I took the time to remember what I have accomplished in my life both personally and professionally. I then started to understand that my deep rooted resistance to this new job was not me. However, I didn't dismiss the legitimacy of my feelings. I took them into my heart with compassion so I can surrender them.
This process of surrendering feels different today. I can feel the energy of fearing my self-worth and self-acceptance. I feel how the energy isn't due to some external source but myself. So if I'm the source of the energy blocking me, I can be the source to move through it and let it go. I sense this liberating methodology of energetic release different today. It's empowering.
So. How am I releasing my fear of self-worth and self-acceptance? Well, the short version is that I am trying new things. If I am met with an opportunity that feels uncomfortable due to my own perception of internal fear, not actual danger of any kind, I walk into it.
As challenging as circumstances are for our planet at this time, our internal realities don't have to be. By breathing, being patient and compassionate with our internal selves, we can release what no longer serves us. For me, that's embracing my self-worth and self-acceptance. By living each day knowing that I am good enough. By walking into the fire of my fear, without fear. It's uncomfortable and won't be the last time I have to walk into my own fire of fear, but I know that I am not alone. None of us are.
Thanks for reading!
Matt
