How Do I Nurture Relationships?
- Matt M.
- Dec 27, 2025
- 3 min read
How do I nurture relationships? In the last couple of months I have been guided to seek harmony and nurture existing relationships that I have in my life. Unfortunately, I have found myself almost completely perplexed by this guidance. My confused state of mind resulted in a familiar frustrated state of being.
My anger and confusion was centered around how I was applying this guidance. Unconsciously, I assumed that "nurturing" was meant to be applied to my past relationships. Specifically around previously toxic relationships that were only one sided. This assumption was a distraction and not accurate so I needed to step away from the guidance for a couple of weeks.
In that time I have found myself slowly becoming more patient with this guidance. I opened myself up to understanding that my guides wouldn't ask me to nurture toxic relationships, but to nurture my present day relationships. With this realization, I revisited the question, "How do I nurture relationships?".
After asking myself this question with an open heart, I had a very honest understanding enter my being. I accepted that I don't know how to nurture relationships. Throughout life I have found myself being uncomfortable with developing friendships with others. This was partly a self-defense mechanism I developed as a child so that I wouldn't be hurt by others. It was also partly because I didn't have the skills to nurture relationships.
Regardless, my guides have been reaching out to help me understand that it's time to develop this skill. So what do I do? Well, to start I ceased overthinking the definition of "nurture". I was approaching it almost entirely from a mental point of view and barely from the heart. For example, I thought:
"First, I'll look at my contacts list."
"Second, I'll reach out to a number of people."
"Third, I'll ask how they are doing."
Although this wasn't a bad foundation, it lacked emotion and love. I had to scrap this approach and feel the best approach to nurture my existing relationships. I took another step back for a moment. The next day I found myself with an opportunity. As I was out driving around Westchester County with my dog, I found myself thinking of a friend. Upon returning home, I reached out to him.
We decided to jump on a video call and he expressed a challenging situation that he's presently experiencing. We discussed solutions and flowed with the conversation. We ended up chatting for about two and half hours.
Coming out of that discussion I felt better about myself. I further reflected how much pressure I put on myself to nurture relationships based on how I was previously conditioned to, which was a primarily mentally focused methodology. It was a methodology that was based in "fixing" a relationship and was very inauthentic. My recent opportunity with my friend allowed me to explore "nurture" from a relaxed and natural point of view.
This point of view is authentic and more aligned to who I am. I also came to realize that I only believed that I didn't have the skills to nurture relationships. This was inaccurate and simply an unconscious belief system developed from my childhood. It was not representative of my true-self.
Lastly, my guides helped me remember not to invest in nurturing toxic relationships. This will only cause me harm in the long term, as it had in the past. To support this understanding, my friend synchronisitically sent me a meme that said:
"Some people are going to love you no matter what you do and some people will never love you no matter what you do. Go where the love is."
So I'm going to do just that, I'm going to where the love is. I am going to keep my heart open to nurture myself and the relationships I presently have. Thank you to my guides and my friend for this comprehensive lesson.
Thanks for reading and please enjoy your present moment!
Matt
Audio Podcast | https://planetphoenix.podbean.com/
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