In the second half of 2024 I was inspired to be creative again. I began to brainstorm what I wanted to create and how I would share it with others.
As I navigated these thoughts, I was met with a great deal of Phoenix symbology in my external environment. This amplified my newfound inspiration significantly.
I came to realize that what I could share was my lived experiences. Specifically, my transformative journey between 2019 through 2024.
I began to write. A LOT. I didn’t care about format, outlining anything or how it was going to be published. I just wrote my story from my heart.
Days turned into weeks of writing. During this beautifully furious time of creativity, I thought:
“What do I want to name my new creative project?”
I was getting excited. I knew I wanted to utilize my latest writing as a podcast and blog but the name was eluding me.
I remembered how the Phoenix was appearing throughout my external world with a high degree of frequency. I knew this direction was perfect.
Then I had my “aha” moment.
The name of my new project would be Planet Phoenix. It fit well because over the course of 5 years I went through an incredible cycle of rebirth and renewal much like the Phoenix does throughout its life.
I also took this self-observation and looked at life on Earth. I came to understand that our human race is also going through a challenging, yet natural, cycle of rebirth and renewal.
With this series of posts, I will share with you what I published back in late 2024. I have made changes to what I originally developed, but the essence of the lessons I learned through the experiences that I have lived still remains true.
Introduction
$2.81. That’s the total amount of money tied to my name as I began to write this series of episodes. I have no savings and no incoming funds.
I should be focusing my energy on finding a job, right?
Yes and no. Of course I need funds to maintain my material livelihood but that does not mean I should withhold my creativity. My intention with creating this show is to share my experience openly and vulnerably without judgement of myself or others.
So, how did I get to this financial and material low point in my life? Well, it’s been quite the journey. A journey of which I am incredibly proud of and grateful for. This is my Phoenix story.
In December of 2019 I started a hobby research project to dive into the “World of UFO’s”. I figured it would be something to entertain myself with as I took part in other activities while living in Colorado.
By 2020, I was less than a year into this hobby project as well as a new job. As my life moved into March, my company, as well as our entire planetary civilization, was faced with lock-downs due to the pandemic and we had to adapt to working remotely full-time.
The pandemic was one of a number of personal and societal level catalysts that brought me emotionally “to my knees” in 2020.
During this time, I found myself asking the same questions I have reflected on throughout my life:
“Why do these issues continue to happen?”
“How have we gotten to this point?”
My depth of confusion reached a point that turned into determination. I wanted to finally answer these questions with sincere effort and evidence, not only with philosophy.
I came to the realization that my hobby research project came into my life in a timely manner and could be utilized as the platform to help me answer these philosophical questions.
By May of 2020, I was intellectually consuming book after book, documentary after documentary and article after article regarding any topic related to UFOs, the supernatural, psychology, past civilizations, extraterrestrials, conspiracies and many other topics.
Additionally, I was experiencing the well known phenomenon of synchronicity and angel numbers throughout the media I was reviewing on a daily basis. I was being given a great deal of support by my guides that I was on the right track.
By late 2020 I started to document my spiritual experiences and the research that I was conducting. I felt driven to write and be creative.
I never considered myself a writer at all, nor did I ever receive feedback in my life that I was good at it. I was pleasantly surprised with how easy it was to write and how much happiness it brings me.
As 2020 came to a close I took time to rest from the challenging year. I saw the upcoming new year as an opportunity to continue my spiritual and creative journey.
In early 2021, most of the team I was working with had quit and moved on to new jobs. There were also layoffs occurring at the company. I could see the writing on the wall and started to look for new employment opportunities.
While looking for new jobs I decided to take all of the writing that I produced in 2020 and create a podcast with a friend of mine. I was on fire to develop this podcast as fast as possible.
At times it felt like I was metaphorically possessed. I took that creative energy, edited my writing to meet an episodic format and we started to take the steps to develop a show.
As we were developing the show I was provided an employment opportunity that I decided to move forward with. It was a new experience as I had not worked in this particular industry before.
Unfortunately, there was a problem. I felt doubt from some of the colleagues I would be working with. That was a red flag but I knew that I needed to be at this particular job, at this particular time in my life.
So I carried on.
By April of 2021, my friend and I launched our first podcast, called Station 19, on April 19th of that year. I was now creatively expressing myself for the first time. It was an exciting time.
April moved into May, May moved into June and I continued to release new podcast episodes.
The month of July 2021 was intense. I released a set of episodes to Station 19 that I believed to be some of my best creative work.
In parallel to this creative achievement I was faced with a decision that would propel my life in a completely new direction and accelerate healing trauma that I was still carrying.
The decision that contributed to this acceleration of healing was that I walked out of my new job. I had only been at this job for 5 months. I have never done this before, it was uncharacteristic of me.
However, I knew I needed to do it even though I could not fully comprehend why at that time.
The reason I left was because I felt betrayed and disrespected coming out of a meeting I had with internal and external stakeholders. This meeting was the tipping point for my patience.
For months I felt doubt regarding my skill set from internal team members of this organization. My response to this was to abandon the situation all together instead of rising above the betrayal and disrespect.
I knew my decision to leave was justified but how I approached leaving was not justified, it was impulsive because I was hurt. I did not truly weigh the consequences. I did not spend enough time asking myself:
“How would my action impact my colleagues?”.
I convinced myself that my self proclaimed justifications were enough to mitigate any consequences and that my colleagues would be fine.
That was not fair, or professional, for me to determine.
After leaving that organization, I knew that I was going to access the life savings that I accumulated over the course of my thirteen year career and simply live.
I took on a part-time job with the horse rescue I volunteered at, I began going to conferences to meet the researchers I followed, I traveled all over the west and focused on learning how to meditate.
No deadlines, no politics, just me and my dog, Joy.
Taking a break from my career brought me a great deal of abundance. I felt freedom, hope and relief at profound levels. For the first time in my life, I could actually breathe.
I was grateful to be able to have this kind of experience as it’s not one that many people can have. I honored that understanding as much as possible to ensure I remained humble.
As free as I may have felt at that time, I was equally putting myself into a heavily fortified self-imposed mental prison. My mind had all of this space now but my heart had unresolved trauma at the unconscious level of my being.
Because of this I found myself surrendering the trauma of my life, and our civilization’s, to the idea of conspiracy theories. I thought:
“Finally! I can blame someone for the pain I feel. I can blame someone for how I’ve always felt like an outsider.”
These thoughts became the bedrock of my Phoenix story. The flame of my healing had now started to increase in size and I was oblivious to it.
Even though my mind was clouded with conspiracy, I could still rely on my intuition. Like many topics of our world, conspiracies are intensely polarized. Merely mentioning the word ‘conspiracy’ and people tend to become tense, understandably so.
My intuition would provide me moments to learn the balance of providing my “new found perspectives” to others and when not to. Also, my intuition would make it abundantly clear that I had no physical or material evidence to support these conspiracy claims.
However, my ego would step in at times and label that intuitive guidance as a “cover-up”. This was the intense mental merry-go-round that I began to experience on a daily basis.
It was confusing, exhausting and isolating, but I would be provided a guiding light in the coming months.
By October of 2021 I took the opportunity to try a Quantum Hypnosis Healing Technique (QHHT) session. It’s not like the theatrical hypnosis practices seen in the movies or on TV.
The goal of this type of hypnosis practice is to provide you the space and tools to connect with your Higher Self.
Basically, your Higher Self is the voice that provides you guidance that is aligned with your highest good so that you can reach your life’s purpose and fulfill it.
Most people may know their Higher Self to be their “gut instinct”. It’s that first thought that comes into your heart about how to move forward in life before the mind rationalizes and/or creates doubt regarding your gut instinct.
Attending my first QHHT session was a flashpoint moment for me. In general, I have awareness that I’ve been on a path of healing since 2012. However, the session I experienced promoted healing to now take place where I needed it, at the unconscious and soul levels.
It was like building a new house. You have to put the foundation down first before building anything else.
My new foundation was timed perfectly and would provide me the support that I needed for events to come in the new year.
In Chapter 2 of ‘My Phoenix Story’ I will share how paranoia became the catalyst which would guide me to seek healing in a new form.
Have a great present moment!
Matt
Source(s)
Station 19 Podcast:
Quantum Hypnosis Healing Technique: https://www.qhhtofficial.com/