Originally Published - 12/20/2025
Over the last year I have shared a great deal of myself through my blog and podcast. I felt the freedom that came with being vulnerable but I still held myself back from sharing more of myself. One of my most significant fears was not being accepted or being persecuted for having an opinion that was different then the majority.
This week I found myself moving on from these fears.
My work schedule was bit different this week and I had Wednesday off. I decided to take advantage of this abnormal schedule and record a podcast episode centered around my perspectives regarding Extraterrestrial Contact. I have written about Contact before but I wasn’t previously comfortable speaking about it on camera.
I started my Wednesday by doing some yoga and meditation. After completing this self-care session, I felt energized and that I was moving in a flow. As I rode this “flow”, I then set up my computer, logged into my recording platform and just went for it.
Usually my podcast episodes are about 8 to 10 minutes. It wasn’t until minute 48 of recording my new episode of Planet Phoenix that I realized how much time had passed. I realized that I broke out of the chains I imposed on myself. I could feel the passion, fun and care that I had speaking about Contact.
I ended up recording about a hour and a half worth of material. At the end of the recording, I was exhausted and totally energized. I decided to take a moment away from the episode to recharge so I did some dishes and took Joy out for a walk.
Upon returning from our walk, the editing session began and would continue into Thursday. With this episode I made the decision not to edit myself as much. It can be so tempting to use AI to edit video but it also can create inauthentic delivery if not utilized correctly. So I let the recording be itself, I cleaned up the audio and only removed parts of the video I really didn’t need.
I felt liberated. I felt free. But this wasn’t just a feeling of freedom, it was freedom. I spent most of my life being an Outsider but that was only a circumstance based on my childhood. It’s not a reality of my present.
As I have navigated this new aspect of freedom, it’s given me the opportunity to look at myself with more compassion. Themes would arise during the week such as Self-Observance, Self-Discipline, and Arrogance that I would emotionally process as a failure of myself or that I did something wrong. And for a moment, they did stress me out but that unconscious habit quickly dissipated.
I embraced patience for myself instead of living in an unconscious state of fear that I “did something wrong”.
Yesterday I launched the episode believing in myself. Trusting that I was being supported in this effort and finding love for myself in moments of insecurity. It has been a really good week and I am grateful.
Thanks for reading and have a great present moment!
Matt